Proč já?

I haven´t have time to rest for such a long time, no pause, the space just for myself. I haven´t even been able to have any hobbies and the time just for being…now and here. 

When I am watching BookYogaRetreats.com and BookYogaTeacherTraining.com I feel like I need to dream about and say ….
My life is full of stress, there is still something going on, I have so much worries and day to day duties. There is still some need to do something, go somewhere, to aim and focus. I do play so many roles in my life. The first one is the role of mother. This on is the most important one because I am the mother of twins. To have twins means to take care about somebody in a double way especially because they are still little. It is whole day about „mum here, mum there“ stuff what is making me crazy and I have such an intense feeling when I do not have pause I am not making it. All „long“ four and half year I have the feeling of not being a good mum. But maybe it is just my feeling… actually, every mum „works“ 24 per day, right? 
The second role I do play is the role of girlfriend actually I think it is just an important role as is the first one. If the relationship should work the woman has to be a good partner. Understandable, tolerant and patient. She has to „keep the fire“ not to let the relationship breakup. And this aim is even worst when you decide to have a long distance relationship!!!
The next role is the role of a friend. There is a need to listen your friends because they simply need to have a shoulder where to cry. Ok and of course there is the role of daughter. You have to give your time and energy to your parents they have the right for that and they ask for that. And what about the role of a woman? Woman who wants to dress up, wear a nice make-up, to have her hobbies. Yes and I want to be a yogina in the same time as a student and a teacher. I love yoga and I do my best to give it my time. There are at least another 3 roles on my mind at the moment but this could be a novel already. 
To be able to live all my above mentioned roles and especially to have any energy for that I need to fuel it up. I´ve been working for 200 % for last few months maybe years because my current situation is asking for that. As a single mother I have to work two times more than other people who lives „normal“ lives. I can hear myself asking for restart. My body needs vacation, my mind is asking to stop the flowing in my mind. This is the reason I would like to donate myself a present this concrete yoga holiday in Grand Canarias island https://www.bookyogaretreats.com/…/8-days-island-yoga-retre…. I love myself so much that I can feel there I really have no more energy and the rest is needed. To disappear from the world full of stress. I would like to give this holiday also to my relationship which is currently so weak. We have really great effort to share our lives and connect our worlds with my partner and I know we really need this time we could spend together. I need this because to refresh myself with yoga which has been my best friend for last few years and my partner needs to have time to set up his life priorities because he has been working so hard…
Yes I want to be the one who gives her body the feeling of hot sand and clean sea. I want to be the one who wakes up early in the morning and is looking forward to her yoga lesson. I want to be the one watching my partner surfing once I am cleaning my mind. I want to be the one who knows her partner is the best man of the whole world. I want to be the one who is the best woman for her man. It is not easy at all to play all the roles in our lives. All the time you are giving something for having something else. For what is the big house once the woman has no power to make it home? For what is the tired partner coming home late and being tired whole weekends when he has no power to build the relationship? 
I want to have some leisure time, new energy and have a new power to my beautiful life. I want to balance my mind and soul. I want to give my partner his own time for relax. I also want to give him the time not to must. And last but not least .. I want to give our relationship another grow by the time we spent together. 
Because we both need it so much and we want it so much from all of our hearts!!!